This was sent to me by a dear friend. I thought it was interesting enough to share with you.

Best Regards

Selva
A theology professor was teaching about Anger;
He asked his students, “Why do we shout in anger?  Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?

The students thought for a while.  One of them said, because we lose our calm, we shout for that.

“But why shout when the other person is just next to you?” asked the professor.  “Isn’t it possible to speak to him or her with a soft voice? Why do you shout at a person when you are angry?”

The students gave some other answers but none satisfied the professor.

Finally he explained, “When two people are angry at each other, their hearts psychologically distance themselves.  To cover the distance, they must shout to be able to hear each other.  The angrier they are, the stronger they will shout to hear each other through that great distance.

Then the professor asked, “What happens when two people fall in love?  They don’t shout at each other but talk softly, why?  Because their hearts are psychologically very close.  The distance between them is very small.  The professor continued, “When they love each other even more, what happens?  They do not speak, only whisper and they even get even closer to each other in their love.  Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that’s all….

So next time you shout to a loved one, know that you are creating distance between your heart and that person’s heart.

1. Define Character

First of all, you have to understand the meaning of character. It is the total of traits and qualities that will define a certain individual or group of people. It describes the ethical and moral strength of the individual, as well as attributes and abilities that will ultimately correspond to their life choices. Character defines the person and his or her actions, with the possibility of these being positive on how to become a better you.

Character is closely related to integrity, which is defined as consistent adherence to strict moral or ethical code. People who have integrity can be defined as complete, unimpaired and sound. Integrity, as a whole, can be defined as performing the right things for the right reasons, regardless of the conditions and circumstances.

2. On Values

If you want to build good character, you have to select as set of principles and rules that you will abide by for the rest of your life. The actions you take to follow these guidelines will ultimately lead to a happy and contented life, which in turn, will reflect your positivity and support toward creating a better world and environment for everyone. You can effectively follow the ethics of a certain group or religion. You can also develop your own ideals, based on your beliefs, experiences and personal opinions.

3. On Choices

You can determine whether a principle is effective for your personal growth and character if you find meaning or a certain level of success in your actions. You should be able to say that you are the person you are today, because of actions and choices you made in the past. Try to assess and list down turning points in your life wherein you had to make a major decision that led you to develop new abilities, morals and virtues on how to become a better you.

Consider how the choice you made in the past turned you into a completely new person. If you feel regret or would want to change things if you only could, then you may not find that certain virtue helpful. However, if you realize that you have become stronger because of a hard choice in the past, then you will find that the trait is needed to complete your good character.

4. On a Personal Note

It is very important that you develop or try to build character based on your own personal beliefs and opinions. Do not let other social groups or people try to change you or make you believe that you should live your life similarly as theirs. Character can be subjective in nature, wherein your actions and decisions will lead you to feel satisfaction and happiness in the end. The choice to grow and build character should be very personal, with certain external influences, but an internal effect ultimately.

5. Find a Role Model

Some individuals aim to become truly credible and build character like other great successful people by trying to follow certain examples and lifestyles. You can rely on a mentor or role model whom you can effectively relate to. This figure may be a family member, an author or a leader in your neighborhood. Take note that every person has strengths and weaknesses. When looking for a role model, you should also remember some of the person’s own shortcomings. This way, you can mold yourself to following the good examples and making sure that you do not commit the same limitations and mistakes.

6. It Takes Time

The process of building character will take several years. You should be patient when looking for personal changes, as some may also alter over time, depending on other circumstances that occur in your life. There are plenty of reasons why people will adjust their traits and personality, so you should just look back on your list and role models and keep aiming for the ultimate goal of becoming truly a person of integrity.

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